1 ) Why do we avoid Negative Emotions? – We feel sad, angry, fearful, stressed, or an emotion that is so uncomfortable, now what? I believe we were taught to look at these emotions as “Bad”, as a parent told her child, “it’s ok, stop crying.” Why not let the child cry and feel the emotion?
2) We get older and mature and then we deal with the pressure of real life stresses, losses, traumas and more – What do we do as we were never taught how to manage these emotions, let alone being ok with them?
3) Now we are parents and if we don’t know how to deal with these negative emotions, then how do we teach our children? – The answer for me came with a consequence. I somehow knew how to teach my children however didn’t know how to teach myself and why? Does this sound familiar?
4) Let’s understand that we might suffer from a Mental Illness, Diagnosed or Undiagnosed? -Treated or not Treated? That just makes the equation even harder to solve, correct?
5) Best case scenario is you have a diagnosed mental illness, been treated, however still uncomfortable with these Negative Emotions – What do you do now? Complicate this with the fact that you had no clue that alcohol, or an addictive behavior could, in the short term, give you relief. Great, now you are addicted to a substance and/or behavior and still do not know what to do with these negative emotions. The emotions were numbed temporarily but came back in full force. It’s time to repeat that Addictive Behavior right?
6) These Emotions are here to send us a message?– So easy but yet so hard? We need to embrace these unpleasant emotions and understand they are here for a reason. We don’t typically run from being happy nor question it so let’s try this with a negative emotions. Acknowledge them and feel them. They are here for a reason and know that it’s ok not to be ok. In AA they have a phrase “This too shall Pass” and it does once you honor it and feel it.
I have attached a great article that discusses negative emotions vs. positive emotions. I will let you know that not every moment or even everyday is filled with positive emotion. However, to know how to sit with them, honor and embrace them, is such a relief. To no longer have to drink over them or have any addicted behaviors to still them, is true progress for all. To not try to numb them in avoidance of them nor fear them is true freedom. If you really think about it, let’s ask who is in control now, You or the Behavior responding to the emotion? I know what mine is right at this moment and it’s a life I would not trade-in for anything.
Check out this Article: “How Negative Emotions Affect US?” by VeryWellmind.com. https://www.verywellmind.com/embrace-negative-emotions-4158317
Stay Strong and don’t forget to ask for help. Remember you don’t have to be alone anymore nor feel helpless. It’s ok to be scared or even afraid and be curious as to why. Feel it, allow it and know that you will survive it. You will eventually no longer Fear Negative Emotions? As my AA fellows say “Easy Does It.”
Sending Love, Peace & Light your way. Debbie IOCDFAdvocate